Happy Monday!

It’s the start of a new week! I wish you all a happy Monday and that you all achieve what you need to achieve this week! I’m feeling really good today! I’m really hoping this good mood stage lasts longer than a week! Advertisements

I’m back

Hello everyone,

I know it’s been a while since I posted and I wanted to update you all on my progress. I am now on lithium, and it’s the best thing to happen to me.

I still have months where I’m unstable, and I have had time off work due to this. But overall, I’m handling stress better.

I also learnt how to meditate, and this really helps with calming my anxiety.

I’m still playing video games to relax, and a game I’ve waited more than half my life for is being released on 19th November!

I will keep posting regular updates, I’ve had a lot of people reach out to me due to this blog, so please keep posting your updates in any comments.

February 2018

So, this month has been a crazy one for myself. I have recently come back from MAGIC Monaco 2018, a free gaming, anime, filming convention, run by Shibuya Productions (also associated with Shenmue 3).

Not only did I meet Yu Suzuki, the creator of the games, but I got to meet a ton of people I’ve spoken too on and off for over a decade, My anxiety was only bad and un-bearable when I was worried about my passport or scared that I was going to miss anything by being late. I was in awe when we arrived in Monaco, as it is a very beautiful but built up city.

We walked around as a collective with our #SaveShenmueHD campaign, in T-shirt form and in a sign form, taking photographs for the cause. It was honestly the best weekend of my life.

But it’s made me realise, I am a lot stronger than I think. But going back a couple years, I do not think I would’ve been able to do it. Rich was by mysids throughout everything too, I have no idea where I would be without my fiancé. So, I just wanted to update you all.

I’m doing fine, maybe better than I should be with my mental health and I can see the progress I’ve made to get me too this point in my life.

Now, to get physically better as I have a weird cold where my throat is swollen and so are my ear canals, JOYS!

Change.

A lot has happened since my last post, I have been made permanent in my current job, which has helped with my confidence. However, my moods have suffered quite badly over the past few months.

Since losing my Grandmother in August, I have just about kept it together. I’ve been keeping another mood diary and I can see by the patterns my moods are making that I’m up and down all day everyday. Rapid Cycling Bipolar can be mentally crippling, and because you can’t physically see it, it’s hard to explain your feelings to people without them thinking I’m either batshit insane,  or making it up.

I have an appointment in a week with the mental health team, and all I know they will say is “You are very limited in what you can take due to wanting a child” so basically, I have to put up with my rapid moods until I have a child, and then they will potentially put me on lithium, but that’s after. What about my struggling moods in the meantime?

All the breathing techniques in the world cannot control how rapid my moods change, and I have no motivation to go to the gym when its dark at 4pm. The only thing I can focus on is the future, I cannot lose sight of what I’m trying to achieve. I need to keep thinking positive, but it’s a struggle.

One thing I do know, is I have a brilliant support network. And I do not know where I would be without my best friends and my fiancé ❤ I will try to keep regular updates, but with my concentration lately, I am very limited in what I can do!

Peace out xox

Exercise.

Recently I’ve had no motivation for any type of exercise, but today and yesterday I’ve started to do squats, sit ups, and weights for my arms. I’m doing 3 sets of each exercise, and increasing my squats by 10 a day, sits ups increase by … Continue reading Exercise.

Getting there

It just feels like baby steps at the moment but I do feel as though I’m making progress. My holiday is 74 days away (yes, I’m counting down) and it’s going to be bliss. 

Thought I would update you all with a positive post, as recently I’ve become an optimist. Staying positive also means less negativity. I need to believe in myself more, and I’m really starting too.

Hopefully good things are on the horizon!